“Are You Clean?”

“Are You Clean?” When dating and meeting people, they always ask you, “Are you clean?“

They’re insinuating, “Are you negative?” When you ask me that, it really puts me in a place like, just because I have HIV doesn’t mean I’m any worse than you. Like I’m dirty and not worthy of this thing (relationship).

I feel like marriage it’s just literally a dream deferred.

When I found out my status at 20, I thought that was the end. I was like, “Oh my God, nobody wants to marry a young, vibrant [HIV] positive little boy.“

I definitely want a marriage. I want just genuine love. I know that it’s possible, but getting to that point knowing and making sure that someone is comfortable with you…really got to do some soul searching and digging deep within yourself.

Life does go on after being positive. It’s up to you what you decide to do with it. You can still have that love, that marriage, those kids.

That’s my original pill case…my daily reminder…it gave me a new outlook on life.

If I don’t take these two little pills every single day like clockwork for the rest of my life. I can’t play. I can’t work. I can’t love. I can’t get to that marriage or the kids. It’s my lifeline unfortunately.

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